Chris.
You were more human than most
& you were unlike any other human
that I have ever known.

Chris’s passing was unexpected.
My memory of Chris
will be just the opposite of the reports,
& so I’ll agree- with you, and Mark Twain-
The reports are probably going to be ‘greatly exaggerated’

There was nothing I, or anyone could have done to stop any of this from happening.

Chris thought he was the one in control.
Chris didn’t realize that he lost control.
This thing controlled Chris.
Chris realized he was Powerless.
“I’m weak. What’s wrong with that?”
But was it ever too late?

Let’s go back.
Sure, it matters to me ‘how and why’ this happened- but i loved Chris nonetheless- and none of the ‘how and why’ will ever define Chris, my love is unchanged.
It’s complicated.. and sometimes as simple as the colors blue & grey. Misspelling “creativity” on business cards, Legos, iPods, yellow trucks, yellow yoga mats, ducks. politics, Apple, Laguna, Van life, lght,
I could go on and on, I guess.
His passions were personal-
Well thought out, & all had its purpose & its reason.
If there was something he longed for-
He rarely spoke about it,
it was mostly closure, that’s all he wanted.
Chris tuned-out his personal life,
And when he was alone,
he dwelled on missed opportunity.

He held an image that (all was well)
& That’s a heavy load-
to keep all that inside.
I’d only heard a mumble out of him,
& it was not very often.
But seemed to be more and more lately.

Chris treasured the people in his life,

But he especially loved Kaya.
He acknowledged ‘origins’
History would not be forgotten.

His office screamed

“This is Who I Am!”

Walking into Lght, was like walking through a diorama of Chris’s mind, an escape from
the good bad and the ugly.

Chris had a close relationship with nature.
He dove into a nurturing friendship with succulents, leafy plants, and nature. He enjoyed his solitude, camping, the outdoors, he was constantly searching for peace.
He even had tree bark scented soap.

He was brilliant, & talented.
He was gentle, and kind.
I always thought of his life as being more magical than mine,
(and much more than mine could ever be).
He gave up his time:
even when he did not have enough.
He sacrificed his own sanity:
so that you could have yours.
He gave others more than
he could afford.
His life was short, but not wasted,
he poured himself into his work.

Chris understood his best qualities.
He just didn’t know how to handle the worst.
Chris was predictable,
I could always count on him.
He was a safe place for me to put my thoughts,
Even though it made him uncomfortable.
Chris was positive, welcoming, and supportive.
I’ve never known him to be anything else.

I will remember him in a way that,
I wish that he could have seen
in himself-
What I saw, was an original,
an amazing, an authentic.
Chris needed to know that he was loved.
Because.
Communication through Technology
Just isn’t enough.
It just doesn’t feel the same as
human touch.

Love can never be destroyed.
Love can never die.

I will miss you for a lifetime.

Rest easy my sweet friend.
You are loved forever.
-Rebecca